"I can't get pregnant"

In 2013 I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. Heartbreaking yes, but finally, an answer as to why I couldn't seem to get pregnant again after all the money spent on ovulation test, counting days, taking vitamins, and clomid cycles. Oh and the clomid sucks by the way! I was mad at air for being air.... Holy smokes clomid sucks the mood swings the hot flashes, yea it was pretty awful but worth every single slightest chance that it might help us have a baby. Finally answers as to why I continued to have pain in my abdomen even after my gall bladder was removed, why I continued to have pain after having my appendix removed even though after both surgeries the surgeons stated “Well the infection wasn't really that bad but since we were there we decided to take them out to reduce any further opportunities for complications”. Thanks because I didn't need those anyways? Periods are painful, like life crippling cant walk across the room painful at times. Oh and money really was wasted on all those ovulation prediction test because my body was so nice to painfully paralyze me every single time I ovulated. There was no doubt about when I ovulate. I knew it because the pain was just as bad if not worse than the pain from my periods. Endometriosis sucks!

“So now what” I asked the doctor after he had just done exploratory surgery to see what exactly was going on down there. Well with Endometriosis, they scrape out what they can and hope for the best. The best being adding more scar tissue to my already cut up abdomen and hoping I get pregnant before it has a chance to grow back.

Oh wanna know the best part? The only true way to cure Endometriosis is getting pregnant but guess what, Endometriosis prevents getting pregnant. Makes a lot of since right? To me that meant I would never get pregnant again. I was blessed enough to have Jeramiah and Maison and I could just forget about ever having another baby again. “I can't get pregnant” would become a common phrase that I learned too well.

Well with God all things are possible.... One day we were walking through Walmart in the middle of August. I was freezing cold and mad at both boys and the hubby. Why I can't even remember but I could have killed them with that evil mommy eye. I was getting mad about everything and just completely feeling like crap lately. Then it hit me, my stomach didn't hurt... My periods never came right at 28 days but I would begin hurting several days before and could just feel it coming on. This was different, I didn't hurt.... Oh no........... No way........... No possible......... Remember “I can't get pregnant”. Maybe?

I waited a few more days, like 4 or 5 to be exact and even then didn't waste my money on the test at Wall-Mart. Off to Dollar Tree I go because I've already wasted so much money on the “what if's” I just didn't figure it would ever show a positive. But I got two just in case! Now this Back Road Momma really lives in the boonies and I already had to pee but I had a few more things to get so off to Lowe's I went. I didn't even bother with the test because “there just going to show negative anyways” and I'm kinda cramping. Maybe I started.... I'll just pee at Lowe's because I'm sure I wasted my 2 bucks at Dollar Tree and I've just started. Nope.... Home I go!

Home I go, and guess what! TWO LINES! What?!?! No way! Lets do the other one! TWO LINES AGAIN! OK back to town!!! This time Wall-Mart. 4 more test later and they are all saying the same thing.... How can this be! “I can't get pregnant”.

Well I guess I was wrong because now we're expecting a beautiful baby boy! It's been a little hard to except the reality of this sweet little one growing inside of me. Between the morning sickness, the headaches, and not to mention high blood pressure, I'm not sure why the reality was so hard to sink in. I definitely feel pregnant or more like I'm walking death most days but remember “I can't get pregnant”.

So here we are 20 weeks in, he's growing like a weed and I still hadn't told most of my family and who I had told, we didn't tell it was a sweet baby boy. At least not yet. The reality is just still sinking in. How do I tell everyone that this sweet baby is healthy, growing like a weed, and oh yea a BOY! I don't live close to most my family at just a little over an hour away so this is what we did.

Isn't that cute! I found that bear on and knew that would be the way! I used the ultra-sound picture from our 18 week ultra-sound, put it in the cute attached frame and stuck everything back in the box. Since I don't get to see family too much lately, (mainly because I've been so sick, tired, and not really wanting to be around people) I took it to Jeramiah's wrestling match where I knew my mom, dad, and sister would be. Here ya go Mom, I got ya something! Heck of a way to do it right? Now while I kinda wish that super soft bear was pink rather than blue (of course I already have two very stinky boys) We're ecstatic that we could share a bear like this at all!

This bear has really helped the reality sink in as well. It's been such a surprise and so hard to believe at times. The My Baby's Heartbeat Bear comes with a small heart recorder to record the baby's heartbeat at that last ultrasound appointment. So now I can squeeze the bear and play his sweet little heartbeat over and over again. Especially when I have those “This can't be real” moments.

To learn more about Endometriosis you can visit the Endometriosis Research Center by clicking here.

Check out My Babies Heartbeat Bears and their other products at the following links.  They have a pretty neat selection and there's something for everyone!
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Disclaimer: We received one or more of the products mentioned above in exchange for an honest and non-biased review. While we have been compensated for our review with the product, our reviews our our own opinion based on our personal experience and realize our experiences may be different than our readers.

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